Fostering Purpose, or Whatever it is
As humans have evolved over the past few centuries, changes in food systems and safety have given certain populations greater time to explore individual purposes and fulfillment.
Despite a desire to stray away from the conventions of life, people fail to recognize how much of an impact the environment they grow up in shapes their lives. There are different paths a person might find themselves on, yet in the end, some parts of life are inevitable as humans.
Shaping a Life
Growing up in the Bay Area, I was surrounded by a community of parents who raised their children to believe that success equates to getting into a top tier university and graduating in medicine, technology, or law. In the process, failure to get the perfect grade or failure to take on multiple activities makes a child feel defeated. If the 10 or so formative years of a child’s life is dictated by parents, a child is unable to learn basic life lessons of failure and self-discovery. Consequently, the child becomes more anxious, unhappy, and under-confident throughout their life.
As adulthood hits and big life decisions are no longer formulaic, people struggle to recognize what is best for them because they haven’t understood themselves well enough. What brings one joy and meaning may have gotten lost in a set of standards others have set.
Nurturing Individual Freedom
As UC Berkeley psychology professor Alison Gopnik describes in her book “The Gardener and the Carpenter,” parents should be gardeners who cultivate a nurturing environment for a child to grow and develop into their individual selves.
Parents who are gardeners provide children resources to try out new things, travel, and discover what makes their world meaningful. They don’t just let their children do whatever they please, but rather guide them in the right direction to be a good, independent human. In these cases, children can be creative and are supported in the process.
It is arguable that this is the best way to raise a child because they are given the right environment to fail and learn what’s best for themselves. As the child grows older, they know themselves well enough to feel confident in their decisions, which is ultimately more sustainable.
Whether a child grows up with parents paving their path or letting them fly on their own, it isn’t easy to find a life purpose or know when you’re completely fulfilled. I think people get bogged down by this idea that life is only meaningful if you find a singular purpose to dedicate yourself to. Additionally, there’s this great emphasis on defining your life based on a series of things you are passionate about. When in reality, I think people are extremely multifaceted and some just live to survive, eat that burger and fries, or read a new book.
It’s important to find what makes you happy and brings your life purpose, but I don’t think people should always be defined or look to define themselves by a job or what they like to do. Unless people are harming themselves or others, life should be about doing what works for you. Everyone is simply a tiny speck of dust in this expanding universe, so why not let go of such pressures to live a certain way.
Shared Reality
In the end of the day, all humans have some sense of a shared reality despite the way we are raised. Sure, not everyone believes their life purpose follows a 9 to 5 job, but we all crave the same things as human beings.
It’s difficult to divert from basic instincts to life such as our search for community, food, or love. At the same time, the way we search for those essential realities are influenced by the environment we grew up in. It takes mental strength and changing how we are wired to pivot from a certain path. Humans are intelligent beings with strong willpower; so with enough dedication, we can shape the life we want and find those many little things to keep us going.
